11/7/2023 0 Comments Family guy heart burnDrunken Irish in front of a fishbowl of minorities. The Movement Peter: I love coming to the ballpark. Stewie: Yeah, but you're already this so. Shape-Shifting Valet: Remember sir, I can be any shape you wish. Shape-Shifting Valet: Sir, you need to get ready for your lifetime achievement award ceremony. Lois: What? Rich Old Stewie Stewie: Fart joke. Peter: Look like a kid, I'll start acting like a man. Undergrounded Lois: Peter, I don't want to have to ground you! You're my husband, and I just don't want you to lie to me! Peter: I lie to you 'cause you treat me like a kid! Lois: Act like a man, and I'll stop treating you like a kid. One day, I will convince him to cut off his balls, and that will be my greatest accomplishment." You said his books changed your life, but you didn't even read them. "There is no greater motivation than the destruction of an enemy, and my enemy is Brian Griffin. Mort: Yes, I need a price check on extra small condoms! Joanna: That's the last thing he'd wanna announce! Oh, God!īrian: How did you know what he was doing? Stewie: I read his book. Mort: Go on! Scoot! Get out of here! Or I'll do the cliché pharmacy price check jokes. but he doesn't speak Spanish! Stewie: Oh-ho-ho-ho! He's not gonna know what it says! Oh, you're bad. Joanna: I'm getting my friend a birthday card in Spanish. Meg (relieved): Oh, thank God! Peter: Now, Meg, I got a question for you: is there really a weight limit for the escalator, or did I just meet some mean kids? Connie's Celica Peter: So long, bitchy 2AM blanket pulls. Were you the Santa at this mall yesterday? Peter: No. (Meg discovers that Peter is working as a mall Santa) Meg: Dad, I'm going to ask you one question, and how you answer it will determine the rest of my life. I can't tell you explicitly since we're owned by Disney, but let me just say that Santa made her "little mermaid Moana". Christmas is Coming Brian: Wow, okay, uh.Stewie. Joe: It's just Joe, I think you know that. Bonnie: Denise, Wendell, it's great to see you. Joe: Bonnie's sister is married to a real show-off. Peter: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!! Lois: And put the extra leaf on the dining room table. Lois: Oh, and pick up some wine for the adults. I just need you to go to the market and get some extra napkins. It's gonna be fun and I can handle most of the prep, myself. Peter: I can't believe you invited the whole family. Don't "like" that! Shanksgiving Lois: We're having people over! I just got off the phone with my mom and all the Pewterschmidts are coming here for Thanksgiving. I'm still haunted by Chad's shivering last words, "Don't let Monica get Botox." Heart Burn Peter: Lois and I are stocking up for a very special anniversary evening and I'm not sure that a 5% discount was worth checking in here on Facebook. You know, there were originally nine friends, but three of them died of pneumonia. Quagmire: I know, right? Do you know how I always felt like I was stuck in second gear? Well, this is new gear! Quagmire: I got a promotion at Blockbuster! Peter: Gleonard Quagmire, that is fantastic news. Meg: Dad, why don't you tell us how you and mom fell in love and got married? Chris: And in go the earbuds. Cat Fight Quagmre: You! You son of a bitch! This is all your fault! Peter & Lois' Wedding Peter: This is the story of the greatest trilogy ever told … The Mighty Ducks. Disney's The Reboot Peter: That woman looks exactly like me. Peter: Again, please respond with "here". Peter: Okay, when I read your name, please respond with a "here". Stewie: Hey, Brian, you don't have a metal detector on you, do you? Peter: Do you have oysters? Waiter: We do not. Peter: Boo! Get on your feet! Peter: Boo! Down in front!īrian: It's a meaningless event. Peter: Hey, good thing I had reservations on this cruise, huh? Bri-Da Absolutely Babulous Lois: Go, Stewie! Ha, isn't this exciting? Peter: Yeah, but I don't like little Kyle Kaepernick kneeling during the National Anthem. I had reservations about this cruise, but you do seem more relaxed. Peter: So is Derek Jeter safe? Umpire: Safe! He's half black!īert: Hey, there PG. Yacht Rocky Peter: What's the big emergency? Why did everyone have to come in on Monday?īert: The internet pretty much only lets us fire white males, so if you're not a white male, you're safe.
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